Ciao 2007 (31-12-2007)

Goodbye o year!
'Twas tinged with fear,
your lonesome start
with an empty heart.

Yet months did fly
And friends came by,
To help and care
Not point and stare.

And lovers too
Some old, some new
They gave me hope
To climb this slope.

New roads I found
That were quite sound.
I'm moving along
And singing my song.

So now I'm here,
With quite good cheer
Awaiting a great
Two-thousand and eight!

Amori (17-12-2007)

Tante storie, tanti amori
Tra progetti e lavori.

Troppo tempo per pensare
Mi faceva lacrimare.
Ma invece ora ho smesso,
Voglio solo fare sesso.
E sentirmi innamorata,
Stra-voluta e coccolata.

Tanti amanti, tanti cuori
Tra progetti e lavori.

---
Brief translation: The author was spending too much time thinking and crying, so now she is putting her energy in new lovers that make her feel wanted and needed.

Here and smiling (05-12-2007)

Am I part of your reality?
Or are you still plagued by strict morality?
Do I represent a friend?
Or am I an untouchable you can't comprehend?

I feel close to you and yet,
Sometimes I'm so far away, on another planet.
You keep me truly at arms length
And try though I might, maybe I dont have enough strenght.

It's your battle and not mine,
Only you can decide if it's finally time,
To close the chapter, rewrite the book
And allow your heart a new love to hook.

I'm still here and smiling,
Will not go away, though you're not always welcoming,
The ball's in your court
Just rememeber, that life is too short!

All gone (27-11-2007)

They were so young,
They were so pure
They had no illness
Nothing that needed a cure.

But now they've gone
They've left us here
and all our lives
seem suddenly so bare.

Without a warning
Without a clue
They disappeared
We feel so blue.

Yet live we should
Though left behind
And keep them alive
Forever in our mind.

Bitch (22-11-2007)

Oh yes, I take pleasure in inflicting pain,
Where before I only looked at you with disdain.
Maybe cos vengeance is tasting sweet
And eating it cold, it's what I need.

Sometimes I wonder where love has gone
It seems my heart is made of stone
Yet from the rock, blood oozes out
And breaking the silence, I start to shout.

I've been too good, I've been too fair
Was putty in your hands, lost in despair.
But now I've learnt, at own expense
I'll be a bitch and take revenge.

Blank (20-11-2007)

Guilt, panic
My work is piling
I'm going manic.

Tired, spent
I'm laying here
Not sad nor content.

Blank, numb
To sweet sleep
I'll soon succumb.

Eyes (18-11-2007)

I know you're there
Maybe you care?

Your watchful eyes
Seem looking for lies

Yet here I'm bare
For everyone to stare

I shouldn't have said
What life I've led.

Some men hurl abuse
Others are a muse.

Which one will you be?
Agony or harmony?

Thinking (17-11-2007)

Stop it now, it's really useless,
Will not help you in the end
Just ignore all those guilt feelings,
Though in fact I understand

That it's impossible to stop thinking
It's so difficult to go numb
Yet you're just inflicting agony
When to joy you could succumb.

All I want is some affection,
Guess it's also what you need
Finish all these painful ramblings
Heart's direction you should heed.

Game over (15-10-2007)

I'm angry and livid
I'm feeling insane
I hate what you're doing
Just to win this game.

It's all somehow sordid
You're cheating to win
Asking for compassion
Renouncing your sin.

I don't want to go back
I love you no more
You can still try to hurt me
To even the score.

Yet here I am staying
Not running for cover
The play may continue
But for me, it's game over.

Sposato (13-11-2007)

Avevo giurato di mai fare male
Ad una moglie che sta ad aspettare
Che suo marito ritorni da lei
Da viaggi di lavoro in citta' Europei.

Ma averti vicino con me, qui accanto
Parlando, ridendo, sembrava un incanto
Ci siamo baciati e poi abbracciati
E poi sulla spiaggia ci siamo amati.

Ma sei un bastardo o solo testardo?
Perche c'hai provato ed io accettato?
Migliaia di ragioni, la sorte, il fato
Ma non cambia il fatto, che tu sei sposato.

--

Brief translation: The young woman had promised never to hurt a wife that waits for her husband to return home from travels, yet she recounts how magical it was spending time with one particular man, with whom she ended up making love. She tries to find reasons but still feels guilty because he's married.

Die (25-10-2007)

Leave me alone, can't you see I'm crying?
Don't want you near, my tears are drying
And I will feel anger bubbling up inside
So I do suggest you get out of my sight

I have had enough and yet I still am hurting
Wish I could avoid you, to happines reverting
Yet the past is real and the future is a blur
But in the present I must act, I'm sure

So instead of marking my hands with your blood
And before I call upon tempests, wind and floods
Go on, be a man and take the proffered knife
Stab your heart and die, make me a widowed wife.

Be Strong (23-10-2007)

Please don't cry, it's not worthwhile.
I'm sure it'll be fine, the sun will shine
again in your life.

Come on, get up, no use whining like a pup,
You have to fight, it's what is right,
Just follow your heart.

You know what to do, what street to pursue
The right from wrong, you have be strong
To make it happen.

I'm here for you, will stick like glue
Right by your side, all through the fight
Don't ever doubt.

Women who wait (22-10-2007)

Maybe it's just fate, or maybe not.
Has ever a man, his lover forgot?
I've asked around my female friends
And on the results, the thesis stands.

That men in plural, or on their own
Tend to make us women feel forlorn
When they forget those that care,
With whom they promised life to share.

Maybe it's genetic or maybe just stress
But either way, we need a caress
A hug, a kiss, a hello there!
Otherwise our life and heart feels bare

Do not forget us, don't take for granted
Or us, your lovers will feel shunted.
Cos women wait, but if they're clever
I'm sure they won't just wait forever!

Dreams (13/10/2007)

My eyes are open but do not see
The night is dark, sweet harmony
Images flashing inside my brain,
Emotions that I cannot contain.

I almost feel you here on my right
but when I turn, it's just the night
Tried to reach out and touch your face
I'm feeling cold, no one to embrace.

I fall asleep, and there you are
Suddenly you're close, and not too far
Laughing, talking, taking photos of streams
You're not here in life, you're mine in dreams

Tragico Amore (07-10-2007)

Un solo pensiero nella mia mente
Mi disturba tremendamente
Mi lascia senza fiato, spenta,
Come una nave nella tormenta.

Penso che non esiste amore
Senza dolore, senza rancore.
Che chi ama, deve soffrire,
Sanguinare, per poi morire.

Mi sembra che Dio ci ha maledetto
Che una spada che trafigga il petto
Se osiamo provare, se osiamo sperare
In un domani con un uomo da amare.

---
Brief translation: The author is thinking about how tragic life is for women who try to love but end up suffering, bleeding, dying. Is there a curse on love?

Drowsy (04-10-2007)

My eyes just want to close
I'm full of aching bones
My tiredness feels sweet
And somehow so complete.

At least my heart is calm
There seems to be a charm
That's working on my dreams
No more tears, fights, screams.

I'm now falling asleep
No need for counting sheep
I'm happy and content
My daily energy spent.

Thank you (01-10-2007)

The lions have stopped prowling
On the fringes of my mind
And balance is approaching
Where before fear made me blind

It almost seems like a dream,
although you would not recollect,
Days here not fighting upstream
Happy moments I will protect.

I know you'd hate me waxing lyrical
But I promise that it's true
So before you change the channel
Thank you friend and adieu.

Silence (23-09-2007)

Thoughts run and spin around my brain
Wild colours splatter without refrain
The raw emotions that speak so frank
Yet all at once I feel so blank.

A big wave of silence descended upon me
Where ideas boiled, now everything's icy
The hurt has dulled, the feelings muted
Has my muse flown or been uprooted?

There's just one cause this can explain,
Me thinks, at last, I'm happy again!

Letting go (12-09-2007)

There you were, gripping the wall, holding on tight
Keeping yourself hanging there, with all your might.
I happened to pass by and smiled at your eyes,
You tried to avert your face, smother your cries.

So I sat close by on the ledge, but not too much
I started to speak, and your hand I yearned to touch
Yet I did not want to push you too soon, I knew,
You might panic and then I'd be left feeling blue.

However I see your fingers slowly start to relax,
You're not any more afraid of hostile attacks.
Don't worry about life, we'll take it slow
Just be yourself, enjoy it and start letting go.

Voices (04-09-2007)

Awake, alone, in the heat of the night
I hear strange sounds, seems like a fight.
Some angry voices disputing stuff
Some woman crying "Now that's enough"

I strain to hear some more details,
To understand what's wrong, why communication fails.
Yet maybe the voices are in my head,
They are just echoes from the life I've led.

The good and the bad seem keen to battle
In order for my path to finally settle
Yet I'm in the middle and cannot choose
Which way to go, which road to peruse.

So as I lie awake in bed,
With various scenarios shifting in my head
To the gods of reason and wisdom I pray
So that I choose the correct way.

Amore e Giochi (31-08-2008)

Alle dieci e mezza
Con la mia tristezza
Ho deciso di giocare.
Ti ho trovato,
Mi hai sussurrato
Facciamo l'amore.

Abbiamo ballato
Insieme in un fiato
Senza parlare.
Sapevi che io
Ho giurato su Dio
Di non ritornare.

Ma per una volta
Giocare non importa
Almeno lo spero.
Mi rimetto il vestito
Ma l'amore e' finito,
Finito davvero.

Brief translation: The woman decided to play with her ex-lover. Without words she went through the motions that he knows are just a game. She swore she would never return and he knows it. She puts on her clothes again and tells him the love is dead, definitely over.

Siren's Wail (29-08-2007)

And the ship was passing near,
Sailors strained themselves to hear
My lament which pierced the sky
Wooing them to come pass by.

Few bailed out and swam alone
Attracted by my heartfelt moan
But as soon as they were close
The sea opened, and the waves rose.

Dashed them all against the rocks,
Their blood mixed with my curly locks,
Whilst I increase my siren's wail
Killing off another male.

Mortality (26-08-2007)

Ravage, hurt and desolation,
Only oblivion is my salvation.
Need some numbness to move on
I can't see the the crack of dawn.

All around there's people dying,
They depart and leave us lying
Here on earth where we belong
Yet we cannot stay for long.

Say our piece and exit quick.
Hope in someone's heart we stick.
Cos for sure there's no tomorrow
If none think of us, feel no sorrow.

Sense the darkness coming over,
Say my lines, quick, shouldn't hover.
Bid goodbye to all around,
Silence finally, no more sound.

Heart Attack (25-08-2007)

I cannot show you what I feel.
I have to seem as strong as steel.
Yet deep down there, you understand
But my broken heart you cannot mend.

I'm lost at sea, but want to drown
Yet am afraid as currents pull me down.
I try to fight, but it's all in vain
How can you not notice my pain?

Or maybe you see, and you turn your head
Easier to deny, and say you don't understand,
The love, the ache, the heart attack,
And so you leave, without turning back.

Scars (21-08-2007)

Some deep, some light
Still ache at night.
Yet though they hurt,
I won't yet convert
To laughter and joy
To happiness's ploy.

"Why's that?", you ask
to take me to task.

'Cos they're my life,
My aches, my strife.
And like a crusader
I fear no invader
That ravages my heart,
That takes me apart.

"So won't you ever heal?
And feelings reveal?"

I shall and I will,
There's hope in me still,
But these scars of mine
Will help me define
The future to cast
And learn from my past.

Little Girl (14-08-2007)

Somehow walked back to meet the little girl
Red curly hair, big eyes and an upturned nose
Struggled to find myself in her at all,
So instead, I sat down and offered her a rose.

She took it from me and her eyes lit up,
The age of innocence still etched on her face
She asked me questions on where I came from,
If I had dropped by from outer space.

I shook my head and she asked again,
Whether I knew about real fairy tales.
I had not the courage to shatter her hopes
So I said yes, future happiness prevails.

She tilted her head and considered for a while,
and then hugged me close, real tight.
She said "Go back and remember me,
And for your dreams put up a fight."

I guess she's right, what's done is done.
I'll dry my tears and I'll stand tall.
Thanks little girl, you made me think,
Maybe you are still in me, after all.

Hate Me (10-08-2007)

Hate me, kick me, leave me
It wont feel as bad as this
Living with my shell,
when deep inside
It's just a big abyss.

Stop it, shut it, forget it
I will never change my mind
I'm a bitch and dont you know it
Why are you trying
to remain blind?

Tighter, harder, stronger
On my neck I feel your grasp,
There you see... was really easy
I utter feebly with
my last gasp.

Replacement (09-08-2007)

Whisper softly in my ears,
Hold my hand, allay my fears
Tell me everything's all right
Hug me tightly through the night.

Just dont ask me if I care
Or to you my life to swear
For tomorrow I'll be gone
Just before the break of dawn.

Cos the harsh light on your face
Will destroy my imaginary place.
I will see you're not my love
But a replacement, I made use of.

Break the Silence (08-08-2007)

Walking by in the street,
People staring at their feet
Some of them dont even smile
At the child that's running by.

Why have we grown up to be
So alone and solitary?
Wouldn't it be fun to laugh
And ignore the empty half?

Playing jokes, doing pranks
Singing songs and giving thanks.
So let's all forget our woes,
Enjoy life, the future glows!

Dance (04-08-2007)

Faster, faster
Turn and swirl.
Shake it, shake it
Sexy girl.

Shouting, singing
Feel the beat
Come and join me,
Off your seat!

No Healing (31-07-2007)

Lying here in my pool of blood,
Lonely tears have cause a flood,
Passers by nod happily and wave
Trying to smile, am acting brave.

I have tried calling 112
I dont know, maybe I find you
To come here and tend to me
To restore some serenity

Yet you're busy on other calls
Helping casualties on other shores
So I'll stare at the stars above
Waiting patiently for Doctor Love

Roses and Nails (27-07-2007)

I hear your songs to pass the time
I know by now you'll never be mine
Yet although I cannot bear the pain
From loving you always I can't refrain

The roses beckon, they seem so soft
Their perfume heady, around it wafts
But I lay upon them, they turn to nails
And then I bleed, my mind derails.

They make me suffer, they cause me pain
This wound I have, it's all in vain
I should stop loving you, I know, I do
My bleeding heart, however, stays true.

Corridors (26-07-2007)

I walk along in the corridors of my life
And I encounter storms, winds and strife
But every now and then I need to rest
And think about my journey's quest

The reason why I am alive
When so many others, younger, die
What am I doing in my time
I wonder if harder should I try

To work, love, live, be
To help create some harmony
In all these corridors, that twist and bend
I'm sometimes faced with a dead-end

Yet I am sure that it will get clear
That I will hopefully no longer fear
This great big job that needs to be done
And when complete, I will be gone.

Urtajtni (07-08-1993)

Nafdak, inhobbok, nirrispettak
Qatt ma jidhirli li ppruvajt inweggghak,
U jekk xi darba ghamilt hekk,
Skuzani imma ma kenitx intenzjonata

Ghahekk stennejt minghandek l-istess trattament
Minghajr tmejjil, zufjett u cajt
Mid-dehra zbaljajt f'fehmti ghax illum
Anke lili urtajt

----

Brief translation: The author is addressing her young lover telling him how much she trusts, loves and respects him and how she always takes care of him. She expects the same from him, however he has hurt her badly, so she is telling him this came as a shock to her.

Ewtanasja (16-07-2007)

Twieldet l-imhabba bejn zewgt bnedmin
Ghexet, kibret, ghamlithom ferhanin
Kienu jinhabbu, jitghannqu flimkien
Minghajr ma jimpurt'hom minn imkien.

Mardet l-imhabba, ma setghetx tfieq
Ippruvat tirkupra, b'hafna ilfieq
Imma le, kien kollu ta' xejn
Ahjar tmut, qed inweggaw it-tnejn.

Minn minna ser jaghti l-ahhar daqqa?
Minn hu dak li ser joqtol l-imhabba?
Int bqajt iccassat lejja,
L-ewtanasja.. kellha tkun f'idejja!

----

Brief translation: A personification of love is born between two humans, grows, is nurtured but then suddenly it gets sick and cannot recover. The lovers keep postponing the killing, but the author feels it's only merciful, so performs the euthanasia herself.

Figura fil-mera (27-08-1992)

Harist fil-mera mtappna ta' zghoziti
U rajt figura wieqfa hemm fin-nofs
Figura bid-dmugh xi xfar ghajnejka
Bla taf ghaliex qed taghmel xi diskors

Diskors lil dawk kollha ta' madwarha
Li ghexu u garrbu maghha tul is-snin
Li dahku u li bkew flimkien imghannqa
Li qalghu fuq wicchom u li kienu ferhanin

Tghidilhom li hi mhix dik li hasbuha
Figura kiesha, mighajr dmugh, bla demm,
Li anke hija thoss u tibki bhalhom
Li taf l-ugiegh, il-bard, il-ksieh, il-hemm.

U il-figura tinzel minn fuq il-podju
Timxi wahedha lejn dawl mis-smewwiet
U thalli hajjitha warajha f'din id-dinja
Biex tinghaqad mieghU li habbha, tul iz-zminijiet.

----

Brief translation: The author is looking into a mirror and seeing a figure (herself) making a speech. Telling people that she is not what they thought, that she also cries, feels and hurts. When ready, the figure walks down the podium and starts moving towards a light, leaving her life on earth behind to become one with He who loved her always.

Maskra (11/04/1993)

Rajtek hemm bil-qeghda
Bid-dahka sfurzata fuq fommok
B'ghajnejk imnikkta, miksura
Iharsu iccassati lejn il-figura

Ta' dik li tajtha imhabbtek
Ghalxejn ghax ma ridithiex
Ta' dik li dahlet go mohhok
Ghalxejn ghax ma ghogobhiex

U rajtha tiddiehak quddiemek
Ma' siehbek li int dejjem fdajt
Kwazi bdiet tinnamra mieghu
Izd'inti minn xejn ma ndunajt

Jew forsi hemm taht wara l-maskra
Bdejt twerzaq bhal wiehed mignun
Tishet lil min tajt imhabbtek
Ta' rabja u dwejjaq kagun

U jien hemmhekk nara kollox
Inutli ma nista naghmel xejn
Rajtek bil-qeghda quddiemi
Tiprova tirraguna "Ghalfejn?"

----

Brief translation: The author is looking at a scene where one of her male friends is sitting dumbly whilst his girlfriend is openly flirting with his best mate. She asks herself whether behind the calm mask that he's showing to the world, he's in fact ranting, raving and angrily cursing his love. She feels a helpless spectator, tries to communicate with her friend, but is regaled only with blank anguished looks that seem to ask "why?"

Rabja (12-07-2007)

Tahraq,
Hamra,
Tnixxi d-demm
Rabja,
Telfa,
Hruq fl-infern.

Kiesha,
Bierda,
Trid vendetta
Mejta,
Iebsa,
Qalb bla cavetta.

Hadra,
Kilba,
Widnejha torox
Bjadet
Ghajjiet
Telqet ghal kollox

Brief translation: Powerful words related to anger. Description of several coloured stages (red, green, white) and then finally the anger spent itself totally to be no more.

Rewind (08-07-2007)

Two steps forward and one step back,
Clear direction I feel I lack
When the tunnel shows it's light
I can't reach it, too tired to fight.

Why can't my brain stop reliving the past?
Finding faults, pain and seems like I must
always live everything twice, thrice or more
Just because my fate is unsure?

The happy moments are there too,
Bittersweet as they include you
And although love I yearn to find,
We'll only be together in rewind

Sejf (13-06-1992)

B'sejf kbir ridt ninfdek halli noqtlok
Biex jiena nehles minn imhabbti lejk
Int dewwaqtni aktar morr minn ferh
Ghalhekk issa ridt nehles minnek

Izda ndunajt li bik mejjet jew haj
Ghal imhabbti xorta ghax hemmhekk tibqa
Ghalhekk dawwart is-sejf lejja u nfidt sidri
Biex meta mmut jien, tmut mieghi mhabbti ukoll

----

Brief translation: The author wants to kill her lover cos he made her suffer so much and she wants the pain to end. However she understands that her love would still live on, even though he would be dead, so she turns the dagger towards her own heart and stabs herself instead.

Tempo (04-07-2007)

Corre, corre, viene e va
Lascia solo un po' piu d'eta'
sul mio viso, sulla realta'

Vedo, vedo, che tempo fa
nei tuoi occhi, specchi d'anima
anche se io vivo a meta'

Sento, sento, nel cuore mio
il tuo battito, come un ronzio
cosi giovane, figlio mio

Spero, spero, che ne ho di piu'
perche voglio la mia tribu
prima che io vada giu'

----

Short translation: Thoughts about time passing, leaving traces on the face of the author who feels in her heart the beat of her son's youth. She hopes she has more time, enough to create a circle (tribe) of friends and family, before time claims her.

Hsibijiet (04-08-1992)

U harist go qalbi u staqsejt:
Ghaliex din il-ghera, ghaliex dan il-vojt
Fejn hi l-emozzjoni li darba hassejt
Fejn hu dak il-bniedem li darba habbejt?

U mohhi wegibni u qalli:
Ghalkemm int se twegga se jkolli nghidielek
Imhabbtek telqitek u l-bniedem halliek
Ghalxejn int tghajjatlu, ghalxejn int tibkih

U ghajnejja infethu u raw:
Zewg kwiekeb jiltaqghu 'il fuq mis-smewwiet
Biex jergghu jinfirdu wara ftit tal-hin
Jinqatghu ghal dejjem, 'il boghod minn xulxin

U ruhi fehmet u tnehdet:
Bhal dawk il-kwiekeb konn'ahna it-tnejn
Diga infridna 'il boghod minn xulxin
Baqaghlna biss l'eternita nghixu wahdanin

----
Brief Translation: The author is looking in her empty heart and searching for her love, but looking up she sees two stars that came together and moved apart never to meet again, and understood that it applied also to her love, he moved away and they will never be together again.

Insincere (05-05-2007)

Being cruel to be kind
That’s what everyone believes.
That the truth might actually heal
All those scars deep underneath

But reality does bite
And those fangs can rip through flesh
I see loved ones crumble down
And I cannot inflict pain

It’s an act of self defence
Please my friend don’t take offence
When the truth can hurt so much
A lie is beautiful to touch
So do twist all that you hear
Cos I must be so insincere

Do you love me? Course I do!
Does this fit me? Like a shoe.
Shall you wait for me? Till the end.
Did that hurt? I understand

So before you call me names
Think of sugaring the pill
I would do it in your case
Cos truth hits you in the face

It’s an act of self defence
Please my friend don’t take offence
When the truth can hurt so much
A lie is beautiful to touch
So do twist all that you hear
Cos I must be so insincere

Warda (11-06-1990)

Jien kont zghira, xi ftit sbejha
Weraq zghar u zokk mhux sod
Rajtek hdejja itwal minni
Harstek kienet 'l boghod 'l boghod

Bil-ftit jiena kont bdejt nikber
Sakemm fl-ahhar wasalt fejn
Jien kont nista' nhares sewwa
U nitghaxxaq b'dawk l-ghajnejn

F'daqqa wahda tmejjilt lejja
U bil-mod bdejt iddur mieghi
Dehxa wahda minn go gismi
Dan ken l-isbah mument tieghi

Kemm hadt gost li ghalkemm jiena
ma kontx kbira, kelli x-xewk
Kont ghogobtok w int gejt hdejja
u b'imhabba ghajni flewk

Hassejt daqqa minn warajja
Ohti kienet kollha nkwiet
"'Qod attenta, dak ser joqtlok"
Dehxa ohra mieghi griet

Harist sewwa issa lejn wiccek
Qalbi ittaqtaq, kollha ugigh
U f'ghajnejk jien rajt il-hazen
Li qatt qabel ma ndunajt bih

Ghafsek issa bdiet tweggaghni
"Noqtlok iva, hekk irrid"
Warda sbejha issa kont jiena
Qed immut bil-ftit, il-ftit

----
Brief translation - A young rose falls in love with a wild bramble that is entwining itself with it. It notices alas too late that the bramble is not in love with her, but in fact trying to thwart and kill her